


Thank you, for being my Brother

by caerynlae



Series: Darkest Hours [1]
Category: Scorpion (TV 2014)
Genre: (Megan), (Walter), Character Death, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2017-09-19
Packaged: 2018-12-31 13:44:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12133758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caerynlae/pseuds/caerynlae
Summary: Megan thinks about her brother and how he will handle her death. That’s when she decides to record a video for him.





	Thank you, for being my Brother

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: This might be sad. I’m not sure if that's true but you have been warned.

_“So lately, been wondering,_  
_Who will be there to take my place,_  
_When I'm gone you'll need love to light the shadows on your face”_  
– Wherever You Will Go by The Calling

It was anything but easy, dealing with knowing that someday soon, too soon, I would not be around any longer due to my MS. There were still so many aspects of life I wanted to experience, explore and just _live_. Especially with Sylvester.

But slowly, with Sylvester’s help of course, we worked through our issues the best we could. I realised, as harsh as that may sound, once I’m gone, _I_ wouldn’t be able to feel the disappointment anymore of all the great opportunities I would miss out on in life. And I _am_ worried about how Sylvester will handle it all. But I also know that eventually he’ll be fine. After a while, he will be just happy that we did have the time together that we had. I offered him a place where he could be truly himself and he will cherish that forever.

But who I really feel terrified for, is my brother. My sweet and loving younger brother. Although I’m probably the only person in the world to use those two adjectives to describe Walter O’Brien. But I know who he is, deep down, behind all the masks he shows the world. I watched him grow up and, especially, grow distant from anyone around us, particularly our parents. But I never allowed him to pull away from me.

I was there for him, every time he threatened to and _did_ break down. Helping him pick up the pieces and putting them back into their places again. Soothing him when the world got too much for him. Showing him alternatives of dealing with his emotions that did not need a blade. (Boy, did it hurt when I found out about that.) Lending a willing ear when he needed someone to listen. I know he still has his issues, but they are nothing compared to the apathy and the distance he felt towards the rest of the world in our teenage years and at the beginning of his twenties.

Finding each and every single member of Scorpion, helped him to feel more secure about his place in the world. But despite everything the team means to him, he does not let his walls down enough around them. None of them know how dark his thoughts can turn.

His missions give him purpose. He sees them as his purpose in life, the reason why he was gifted with such a high IQ. 

A high IQ that sets him apart and makes him feel alien in other’s everyday life. His ability to process information faster and seeing the world more clearly and intensely puts him at odds with the people around him who cannot understand, cannot keep up.

A high IQ that people like to exploit, given the chance. What happened in Baghdad, is what threw Walter down into the pitch-black darkness in the first place. He does not realise that I know about it, but after a while I was able to puzzle together all the pieces. I might not have Walter’s IQ but I’m no slouch myself. The guilt he feels, leaves him to head into danger without any regards for his own safety. He truly does believe that if he does not make it, no one would consider it a loss and that he would deserve it. Oh, how wrong he is. But no matter what I try, I just cannot get through to him on this issue. I wish I had more time, to be there by his side, to guide and help and catch, to slowly show him that his life is worth so much. In itself, to me, to all members of Scorpion.

When Walter insists that he has no feelings, others might easily believe this, especially if they have seen his cold, logical decisions previously. But I know it for the lie it is, he will never fool me. I was there from the first moments of his life, watching him grow up. Seeing his joy at exploring his surroundings as a toddler. Seeing him grow into a young child, studying my school books, understanding them with far more ease than I, several years older, could. Seeing him devour every piece of information with his never-ending curiosity. Seeing him enter school himself, light years ahead of his peers. Having to stand by and watch as he is bullied by peers and teachers alike for being too different, simply for having synapses working faster than anyone else’s around him. I watched as his eyes slowly lose that spark in his eyes and my heart went out to him. But no matter what I did, I’m just one person, just slightly older than him and it’s just not enough once even our parents seem to be constantly exasperated with Walter.

They day he hacked NASA, was one of the most terrifying in my life. I thought he had finally done it, done irreparable damage with his too brilliant a mind. One mistake that he can never recover from because he never had an adult figure that encourages his intellect in a healthy but safe environment. But this is when Cabe entered the picture and for a while I thought he finally found that person. Logically, I understand that Cabe had no other choice and I have forgiven him. But I cannot help but wonder what might have been if the Baghdad incident had never happened. Because that was the day that did irreparable damage to _him_ , exactly how I had feared on the day he hacked NASA.

I was always there for him when he needed me and he knows that. There was never a question in my mind to not move to the US with him. And now this is about to change. I will not be able to be there for him any longer.

I’m just so afraid that my death will be the catalyst that will plunge him off the cliff again. And I won’t be around to help him pick up the pieces this time. I’m terrified he will not be able to deal with his emotions on his own and there will be no one who notices and steps up in my place because his masks have gotten so damn good over the years.

I also know he will feel guilty and responsible for not finding a cure to my illness in time. I wish I could absolve him of that but every time I broach the subject with him, he completely clams up. I can see that he is still in the denial phase whereas I am slowly reaching acceptance.

I’ve considered talking to a team member of his about this, but I’m not sure. The only one I would feel comfortable talking to, is Sylvester. But I most definitely cannot expect him to take care of Walter while he will be grieving himself. Besides, in Sylvester’s and Walter’s relationship, Walter has always been the big, caring and protective brother.

So instead, I have decided to record a video for him. I want to try to be there for him at least a little bit, even though I will be gone. Something to remember me by, to help him remember the happy times. Simultaneously, I want to remind him that he _can_ reach out to others. That he shouldn’t be afraid to love and to remind him that he is loved by his team members. He never believes me about the latter. In that regard, his team members are so similar to him, never being very demonstrative with their emotions. But if I observe their interactions, the love is so clearly there in their actions. I wish Walter could see it the way I do.

And Walter is the same. He doesn’t declare his feelings to me, but he makes them obvious in every single one of his actions. All I have to do is observe closely and I understand. He is the sweetest and most amazing brother anyone could ever wish for. And all I want for him, is to be happy and live a fulfilling live, especially if this chance is to be denied to me.

I dry my tears, knowing he will be here soon. He has promised to take me down to the beach. To our favourite spot. I’m sure he’ll make a fuss when he sees that I want to bring the video camera but he has never been able to deny my wishes.

I hope my final message to my brother will encourage him enough to share his feelings and seek out help from his team members, his chosen family.

 _“And maybe, I'll find out,_  
_A way to make it back someday,_  
_To watch you, to guide you through the darkest of your days”_  
– Wherever You Will Go by The Calling

**Author's Note:**

> I wondered what Megan must have thought about before recording the video that we see at the end of 2x10. I think more talented writers could’ve done this more justice but still, I wanted to share this piece. I’d be happy about any constructive criticism or ideas and maybe I’ll revise this piece later on.
> 
> Here is a clip on YouTube that shows the video by Megan, if anyone wants to re-watch it:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gd96GAqtdS8


End file.
